If you are a small group junkie, you too have that secret longing for the deep, rich and meaningful community we can experience in a small group, yet far too many groups fail to get there. Many times it’s because our expectations to have that “kumbayah” encounter at the very first meeting and every meeting after that are just unrealistic.
Over the last four weeks I facilitated a small group around a 4 week church wide campaign that has everyone in our group wanting to come back for more…well almost everyone. Here are four things that I’ve learned over the last four weeks.
1. A Short Commitment is like Baiting a Hook – Small Group leaders are famous for advertising that you will enjoy “doing life together” when you join, but the reality is, I can’t begin thinking about doing life with you when I hardly know you. In fact, doing life with someone I don’t know just creeps me out. The four week small group is like bait. It will get people nibbling until they eventually get hooked. Over the last four weeks we have people from the neighborhood, new people that have never been in a group and people who have been disappointed by a group. Here’s the key. People can muster up the courage for a short commitment.
2. Sharing a Meal Together is Worth the Hassle – Our group meets at 1pm following our Sunday services. Inconvenient? Yes. Do we have to plan ahead? Yes. Do I have to stop by the grocery store on the way to the small group? Yes. Is it really worth the hassle. YES! There is something about eating a meal together that puts everyone at ease. Before we jumped into intense discussion about the sermon, we actually got to know one another without having anyone’s guard up. It was natural, it was genuine.
3. It was about Conversation not the Content – During the four weeks I committed the ultimate small group sin. I didn’t finish the agenda. In fact we never got around to a second question. We watched an inspiring video and shared our hearts. Sometimes as a facilitator you want to move things along, but I recognized the exchanges that were happening were more valuable than getting through the content. Conversation was king in our 4 week small group.
4. We Ended on Time and Went Home – I once heard a story about a couple leading a small group whose people wouldn’t leave, so they excused themselves for a few minutes and came out in their pajamas. They got the hint. Our small group was 90 minutes; no more, no less. When we hold people hostage in our small group (especially those hosting it) they will be short timers. Long term small group attendees come back because of short time requirements. Honestly I look forward when the 90 minutes is up because it leaves me longing to come back for more.
Our 4 week Small Group has decided to come back for more! We are going to go every other week instead of every week. We found every week right after church to be too taxing on the adults and kids! I’ll keep you posted, but I’m thrilled about the possibility of 4 week commitments turning into long term community.
Kumbuyah!
Photo Credits: Gustavo Gonzalez
I’ve been married to my wife Amy for over 21 years. We have a Junior and Freshman in high school, who both are outstanding student athletes (It’s in the genes! LOL). I attended Genesis Discipleship Center which has proven to be one of the most transformational experiences in my life, and finished my degree in Professional Studies at Southwestern Assembly of God University . I’m an encourager of leaders at all levels on at DeanDeguara.com. I am currently serving as the Director of Resources at Jesus Culture in Sacramento.
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This is a great strategy Dean! Love hearing your experience with it.
How much longer do you plan on running your group after the 4 Weeks?
What do you share with group at the end of the 4 weeks as you look to “hook them” into a deeper commitment?
Have you had any interesting one-on-one conversations with people in regards to continuing with the group after the 4 weeks? Do they ask you questions? Do some show resistance?
We have decided to continue, since what we tasted was good! I’m guessing we reevaluate in another 4-8 weeks.
At the end of my four weeks I expressed the desire that I had to continue cultivating a community we all wanted to be a part of. It was very evident in our group that people are hungry for relationship. I asked for everyones honest feedback and we decided to continue the group.
We went on a date night with the hosting couple and they seem to be excited with what’s happening, but we also opened it up to the entire group. Since we are a small group with kids we decided that twice a month was a good goal for our group to meet. We had a Superbowl party yesterday so in two weeks I will be able to tell you if the commitments stick!
I agree with Mason. Great strategy. I have some good friends involved in small group ministry who would probably call short-term groups an abomination that causes desolation!I may have at least partially agreed years ago, but I’ve definitely changed my mind.
Our church has used this strategy to help people get into groups. While in the long term, I still want people to make a commitment to a group, as you said, most people cannot do that without trying a group first.
At our church, we started a bunch of 4-6 week groups (I’ll discuss how we found leaders for those groups in another post) several times a year that would go along with certain sermon series. We usually scheduled these for September, January, and possibly May. We built into our strategy an opportunity for group members to choose to continue with the group for one more series (one we scheduled in advance that we knew would be popular and had a big discipleship emphasis). We knew that if they stuck with the group for about 10 weeks or more, they would be hooked! This strategy works great if –and this is a big IF–you have the right leaders and choose the right studies.
The four tips Dean shares here are vital to keep these groups going. Love it!
I’d love to discuss this more. Feel free to respond here or contact me to talk more about the strategy.
I thought the same way about brief, topical groups, but as you mentioned make great catalysts to get people really connected long term. I would agree, content of the material you choose is key. You usually can’t go wrong with Andy Stanlely. His content seems to be the most thought out and formatted for great discussion. Thanks Mike! What are some other 4-6 teaching series you’ve used?
I love this, Dean. We’re starting a short-term study like this coming up, and I’m gleaning from what you guys have done. Great stuff.